oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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