before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize