He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
