how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.