He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that