Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm home, then i'll come over
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.