I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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