your thong is hanging out like whoa
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
