Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
