Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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