It's like God shit irony all over that family
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
