I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I wish i was in the wii world.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
