Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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