I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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