When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Still dying that you shit outside
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
