have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
