Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
