Kiss
Puke
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We left an ass print on the piano.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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