It's just like the Real World with babies
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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