Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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