when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
