there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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