I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
