Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
