You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
