just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
