at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
