An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
