Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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