i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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