Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
