i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My dick has a subreddit
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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