You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
