Having a random hookup so left but love u
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
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I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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