Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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