i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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