Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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