This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
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I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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