Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
