i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
