im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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