we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
