puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
