thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
