ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
