i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.