i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.