her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.