Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.