aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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