I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
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i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
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So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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