You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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