we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
