Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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