and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
