everyone is single if you try hard enough
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
