I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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