Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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