you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
