i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My vagina just clenched in fear
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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