I think I am morally bankrupt
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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