Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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