So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
