Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Randomize
