Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish you could order shots online.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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