I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
