exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
