Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize