who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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