that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize