I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
